Hi! It’s been awhile. (And I know everyone has been WAITING on this.)
As a reminder, this newsletter is where you can find my musings about the intersections of the games we play (sports) & the people we revere (royals) and how they reflect our society-at-large. And my bad photoshops.
If you’re receiving this, it’s because I most likely manually subscribed you. Although this is only the second issue (check out #1), I’m planning to write & send these regularly, in an effort to make more time for the things that excite me, and if that’s writing about this nonsense, well so be it. As one of my favorite sportswriters Kate Fagan puts it:
“Too many people let tiny hurdles stand between them and the thing they love doing, the thing that fuels them. The timing’s not right, or the guitar’s not tuned, or the light’s fading. When my dad said to always keep a pair of sneaks in the trunk, he meant it literally. But he also meant that life could sometimes conspire against us, create friction, convince us that doing what we love is a hassle, not a joy. Our goal is to not let it.”
I’m not sure what exactly it is that I truly enjoy doing (or can enjoy while making an income) - but I think it’s somewhere in-between writing corporate emails all day and writing this insane newsletter. I’m determined to give myself the time & space in 2022 to find out what it could be. Sometimes it’s as easy as sharpening pencils.
IN ROYAL NEWS
Ginger Tea with a Side of Tennis (as told to Lee Jenkins)
Who’s feisty, bald(ish), and hates their daddy?
When Penguin Random House announced in July that it would be publishing a memoir by Prince Harry, I felt like this: 🤔 — as I, along with many others, suffer from PTSD after reading this shockingly-bad ‘biography’ of Meghan & Harry1
“I am writing this not as the prince I was born but as the man I have become,” Prince Harry said in a statement on the memoir. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Harry — life is long. But more on that later.
However, things changed once I learned about the important name missing from the statement: JR Moehringer. AKA the guy who will actually be writing the book. Moehringer has a knack for telling the stories of complicated, elusive men, including himself, Phil Knight, and “the Babe Ruth of bank robbers.” And Tiger’s probably next.
But his most famous book? Andre Agassi’s memoir OPEN, truly one of the most compelling books I’ve ever read. And it has nothing to do with sports. In fact, if you hate sports, put it at the top of your list!
Because it turns out that Agassi despised tennis. He said:
I hate tennis, hate it with all my heart, and still I keep playing, keep hitting all morning, and all afternoon…I keep begging myself to stop, and I keep playing, and this gap, this contradiction between what I want to do and what I do, feels like the core of my life.
He was made famous by the thing he hated most, chosen for him before birth.
Sound familiar?
Re-reading other passages from Agassi’s book and replacing ‘tennis’ with ‘royals’, it becomes difficult to separate the two men who’ve had to fight for control of their lives. This passage in particular draws an uncanny parallel. Agassi, upon meeting Nelson Mandela, reflects:
No matter where you are in life, there is always more journey ahead. And I think of one of Mandela’s favorite quotes, from the poem Invictus, which sustained him during those moments when he thought his journey had been cut short: I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
And what do you know — The Invictus Games, an international paralympic sporting event for soldiers & veterans founded by Prince Harry — is inspired after that same poem:
(Or if you prefer your voiceovers from Morgan Freeman.2)
So how’d we get here? The missing piece to the puzzle…starts with a George and ends with a Clooney. And duh! Clooney optioned Moehringer’s first book, and he’s friends with Prince Harry, per law of being famous. I would bet Clooney gave Harry a copy of Agassi’s book, perhaps during their Italian getaway, and Harry finally felt understood.
But looking back is easy. Looking forward is hard. By choosing to publish his book now (out in 2022), Harry is signaling he wants his story to end on his own terms, on his own timeline, and he wants that to be now. And certainly, we should all have control over our own stories. But that doesn’t mean they always end when or how we’d like them to. Agassi later said:
“No matter how I feel about tennis, the game is my home. I hated home as a boy, and then I left, and I soon found myself homesick. I hated home as a boy, and then I left, and I soon found myself homesick.”
History doesn’t always repeat itself, but it certainly rhymes. A million dollar ghostwriter can make the story good, but it doesn’t make the story end.
In the very least, Harry seems to be heeding sage advice from one of the best storytellers of our time — “celebrity is fleeting; good books endure.” Finger crossed.
PS - The Tender Bar (Moehringer’s memoir optioned by Clooney) comes out Dec 17th in theaters, and January 7th on Amazon Prime. And it seems Ben Affleck is the newest member of the complicated white man club.
PPS - This can finally put to rest the idea that Prince Harry is “financially independent” from the Royal Family. He has this book deal, and $20 million paycheck, BECAUSE he’s a Royal. So, please no more comments about their financial woes…ever.
PPPS - Here’s me, Mr. Split & the crew in Italy!
Further reading, if you’re interested:
A boy raised, with Affection, in the Local Saloon (Baltimore Sun, Sept 2005)
Memories of the Tender Bar (NPR, Dec 2005)
A Team, but Watch How You Put It (NY Times, Nov 2009)
He Knew Where the Money Was, and He Usually Took It (NY Times, Oct 2012)
Why There’s Not a Single Alex Rodriguez Quote in ESPN’s 12,000-word Profile (Poynter, March 2015)
Revisiting “Open” (New Yorker, Sept 2019)
Not Yet Published, Already Damned (The Guardian, July 2021)
Ben Affleck on the Gift of Second Chances (Wall Street Journal, Dec 2021)3
MVP
James Jones and his all-boys gymnastics team in Atlanta are #SQUADGOALS. If this doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what will. Yes, I have already inquired about documentary rights. I never thought I’d say this - but thank you, Twitter.
THE LAST WORD
Our favorite “power ghostwriter” JR Moehringer makes a case why everyone should have a place where everybody knows your name:
“In ancient Greece, there were amphitheaters, you know, and there was plenty of wine served at amphitheaters. There needs to be a place where people come together, freed from their possessions and temporarily free of their houses and their identities to some extent and where they can be in semidarkness and tell the old stories.
This is the very place where I decided that I wanted to find a way to tell stories for a living, and it's also the place where I first saw a man give his memoir.It was at this bar where I didn't know what it was at the time but I saw a guy tell his life story. And when he was done, he felt better about his life.”
Next time: King Richard & the Queens he raised
And future times:
The Decision two years later
The Real Royals/Housewives of Monaco
Jeopardy: America’s favorite (and best) sport
I’d like to report a missing person: Archwell Productions’ programming
The power of “nope”
Women’s history - decided by dudes
Going bananas & sports theatrics
Embracing life’s ugliness - Pen15 style
(And more! Got an idea, complaint, or thought? Feedback welcomed and appreciated.)
Thanks for reading, and spread the word! Until next time…
See all my thoughts about this “biography” that “Meghan did not contribute to” via my chaotic Instagram stories
To make this completely full circle, Morgan Freeman starred as Nelson Mandela in the 2009 INVICTUS movie.
Sidenote to these headline writers - I think Ben’s on at least his fifth chance…